The inner child is a concept used in psychology to refer to the childlike aspects of our personality that still reside within us, even as adults. It is the part of us that is curious, playful, imaginative, and spontaneous. Our inner child is the part of us that holds our deepest fears, insecurities, and wounds from childhood. It is said that our inner child is the key to our emotional healing and growth as individuals.
As we go through life, we often bury our inner child beneath layers of responsibilities, obligations, and societal expectations. Western culture has a distorted way of understanding how it is to be human. Most of us are taught that to be a successful adult, you must be responsible, accountable, goal-oriented, ridged, and serious. This can disrupt your developmental stages, making them incomplete, as your natural sensitivity and freedom are left behind. We forget how to play, have fun, and be spontaneous. We become disconnected from our true selves and lose touch with our innermost desires and needs. Perhaps your inner child needs some healing, and you carry this wound into adulthood; by reconnecting with your inner child, you can tap into your creativity, intuition, and joy.
Do you remember when you were young being told things like...
"Turn that frown upside-down"
"Get over it."
"Shake it off."
"If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about."
"Oh, don't be a crybaby."
"Grow some thicker skin."
"Children are made to be seen, not heard."
"Don't cry over spilled milk."
Whether you received these messages directly from an emotionally dismissive parent or unconsciously due to social conditioning, it has an effect, especially when you're a highly sensitive child.
" Big boys don't cry."
Crying is cleansing; it cleanses your aura and improves your eyesight. It allows you to pay attention to what matters most to you. Being able to tap into your sensitivity brings more meaning to your life.
Ultimately, suppressing your cry leads to the following:
- Being less moved by emotional stimuli and feeling numb.
- Appearing uncaring and even cold, making it difficult to connect with others.
- This may cause an insecure attachment style.
" What are little girls made out of? Sugar and spice and everything nice, that's what little girls are made out of."
Repressed anger can lead to having:
- Perfectionist or neurotic tendencies.
- Struggling with impulse control and emotional regulation.
- Experiencing chronic trauma.
- This may cause an insecure attachment style.
Emotions are what it means to be human, and creative self-expression allows you to manage them while fully expressing your feelings. Silencing those parts of yourself is like denying and disowning a part of yourself. We all experience difficult emotions; the challenge is not to repress them, suppress them, or act out. The secret is to embrace and channel those emotions. It takes energy to repress, suppress, and act out emotions or thoughts. The goal is to increase your capacity to be with and respond to difficult emotions so that you can put that energy toward achieving a goal rather than avoiding your fears.
There are many ways to connect with your inner child, such as engaging in creative activities, spending time in nature, playing with children, practicing mindfulness and meditation, and exploring your passions and hobbies. By nurturing your inner child, you can heal past wounds, overcome limiting beliefs, and live a more joyful and fulfilling life. Remember to be gentle and kind with yourself, and allow yourself to play and have fun without judgment or criticism.
